Roller Coasters Weekly

Tests, tests, and more tests is a pretty accurate description of how this semester is rolling through.  We are bouncing from test to test each week of class from this point forward.

I think the hardest part of testing is the after test nerves that is coming out in the form of questioning your answers.  UGH!  It's hard not to be drawn in.  Although I try really hard to just walk by.  This makes me feel great and horrible at the same time.  It feels great to have my answers validated.  On the other hand, it is walking into a bundle of nervous energy that just passes to each person like a bad case of hiccups.

My secrets... preparation, break, and prayer.  I study every chance I get, to the annoyance of my family.  I also realize when I need to walk away and take a breath.  Each morning, I pray.  Pray to have all the knowledge that I have stuffed into my brain somewhere to come back out, appropriately.

I forgot to mention celebration.  I think I am getting to the point that I don't celebrate the big things so much any more.  For example, some of us are going to Sweet Cece's to celebrate surviving the past week of tests and passing them.  It's not about the grades.  It's about being able to progress and LEARN each step of the way.

What was I thinking?

This week was the first week I seriously questioned my sanity about my schooling.  I left school yesterday feeling very defeated.  Pharmacology is my nemesis!  Even studying drugs can mess with you mind.  After our test yesterday, I was in bed and fast asleep by 830.  I know I can overcome, but holy smokes!

I was always taught when taking on a huge task always know the real reason for doing it.  For me, taking on nursing school was about having a career.  Not just any career, a career that will leave a positive impact on the world and provide versatility.  A career that requires humility and provides mercy and grace.  A career that is a network, or a family, just by entering the field.  A career that changes nightly, and even by the minute, and is never the same 2 days in a row.

I am so thankful to have clinical days.  Being on the floor, rubbing shoulders with real nurses, and providing care is what is going to keep me going for all the semesters I have left.  Our instructors make us feel smarter and give us credit for thinking on our feet, or critically thinking.  I think they might even be a little proud of us.  It feels awesome to be able to leave the hospital knowing I did the right thing instead of leaving with a touch of fear because I just didn't know how I did until the clinical ticket came back.  I think I will forever be afraid of the letter U because 5 of these will make my nursing career come to a screeching halt.

I have to keep myself aware of all of this.  Otherwise, I will end up huddled in a corner rocking and crying wondering why I did this to myself and my family.  It's easy to forget the good and the potential for greatness when I am overcome with the feeling of defeat.  All it takes is one foot in front of the other to keep moving forward.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look no only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."

~Philippians 2:3-5

Procrastination

I am obviously putting off my school work by blogging instead.  There are so many points that have stuck out to me this week.

I have finally put running back into my schedule.  Although, I'm not running every morning, I am getting out 3 days a week.  Not too shabby considering the time constraints our family is operating with.  I feel so much better getting back to running.  It is definitely giving up 3 hours in my week to feel 100 times better during the week.  I wish I could bottle those endorphins for psychology on Monday and Wednesday afternoons.  It might make it a little more tolerable to sit through.

My laundry has stayed caught up this week.  That is a miracle in and of itself.  I told Xavier this morning that if I found any more boy socks scattered around the house and in the van, he was going to be in charge of laundry.  Low and behold, he was running around the house making sure things were picked up and there were no socks to be found.  Too bad he doesn't understand that he WILL be in charge of his laundry VERY soon!  I guess I will keep that little nugget of knowledge to myself right now.

School has been moving quickly.  This semester seems to be all about taking off and running with the knowledge we have.  I think that is great.  At the same time, it's hard to wrap your head around everything to make sense of it.  There is no slowing down or looking back at this point.

Mending Broken Hearts

We became a family of 6 Thursday evening.

Jay is a very determined man.  It is often mistaken for stubbornness.

One thing he is more determined to change then anything is his family tree.  One side of his parentage has left a wake of pain and destruction on the lives of many of the little ones brought into the world.  For the past 7 years, Jay has been trying to make a change in lives of two of his half siblings he knows best.  Last night was the first tangible step in this journey.  His half brother will be staying with us for a while.

The kids have immediately taken to him.  They love him without a second thought.  I think this is one of the best qualities each and every one of our kids have.

More than anything we want to model family to him.  We want to show him there is greatness in being a family unit, not just hurt.  We know he will be welcomed into our community.  Southern hospitality is an excellent thing, even it if seems to freak him out some.

Only time will tell, but I'm sure this is going to be a move for the better.

“What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life - to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories.”
~ George Eliot

N2, Week 2

Week 2 is officially over.  What a week!
Uh-May-Zing!!

This week we were in the hospital.  I love clinical days!  It's overwhelming, but completely amazing to be in the hospital working with real medical staff and real patients.  I was able to spend time in a critical care unit working with 3 patients between 2 nurses.  It's funny how the basics we all rolled our eyes at when learning come back into play when working on the floor.  I guess the real moral of the story was the most trivial task, making a bed or combing hair, is never too little to the patient.  Even if they fight you the whole way, they really appreciate the time that was spent making them more comfortable.

Have I mentioned lately how much I love this?  Let me remind you just in case, I love, love, love the field I am going into.  I love being able to have flexibility both in time and in path.  I have yet to meet a nurse that hates their job.  Of course, I can do without the weeks of 3 tests piled on top of each other, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get to the finish line... with a smile on my face... hopefully.

What didn't work this week?  Running.  Today was the first day I was able to lace up my shoes and go for a run.  I hate that, but it is what it is.  Laundry.  The boys were out of shorts today.  Don't get me wrong, they still have pants.  I'm not going to send them to school in their under-roos, which are clean in case you were wondering, and I know you were.  Dinner planning and grocery shopping.  There wasn't any, period.  This week was a lot of asking the kids what they wanted for dinner and giving it to them.  Luckily, we have some pretty good decision makers.  They chose things like lasagna and salad.  We were just lacking in time between school, after school activities, financial classes, and trying to squeeze in time for studying. Oh well!  I guess there is always some push pull in life.

Another reason this week was pretty amazing, no trips to the ER with my lovely, clumsy children!

No Rest

I am almost through my first week back to school.

This is what my days are going to look like for the most part.

• 430 am - get up to run at least 2.5 miles before starting the day
• 500 am - back home and get ready for the day
• 630 am - take the boys to early care at school
• 645 am - call Paige to make sure she is alive while waiting on the bus
• 7 am - arrive at school or hospital, depending on the day
• 1-2 pm - finish the school day
• 2-4 pm - study as much as possible before kids start coming home, or sit through pharmacology
• 430-6 pm - Taekwondo 2 days a week
• 6-630 pm - inhale dinner 
• 630-830 pm - small group or F.P.U.,  1 night a week each
• 840 pm - fall on my bed exhausted 
• 845-1030 pm - get out of bed to study
• 1030-430 - dream of pizza

These are very long days, but they seem to fly by.  Hopefully, the semester will go by just as fast.

I am trying to make it a point to not let the semester get to me.  I have an awesome group of people to surround myself with and an even better study partner.  It is refreshing to go into class and laugh.  I think the key is going to be a) going to bed on time, b) enjoying the semester to the best of my abilities, and c) not becoming stressed and bogged down in the tiny details.  It also doesn't hurt that we are no longer the low men on the totem pole. 

Enough blabber-gabbing!  Time to get back to the books!